Real Men Like Cigarettes

Men like Cigarettes

One comes from a factory
One works there

They both smell terrible

One sits in gutters
The other will sweep them

They both get on with beers

One will harm your liver
One harms it’s liver if it’s team gets silver

If it’s wet, they’ll both go floppy at the worst moment.

One you keep away from your kids
One won’t even visit

They both aren’t great with talking

Ones a diuretic
Ones a diabetic

They both used to have a job on the train

One always gets lost in the car
One never gets lost in the car

They both advertise how rich they are

One still talks about the flipper
One is still trying to light the Zippo

They both love Shane Warne

One is best in paper
One is best on paper

They are both leading causes of death in men.
In lots of places 40 is about as much as you can get.

Remember it’s either red or blue
Anything else and you’re a sissy

Unless you want gold on the field

Then it’s Winfield gold obviously..

Women and Cigarettes

I hadn’t compared them yet..

One is certainly more intimidating in a pack than the other..
They both go with coffee.

One wants a Bic lighter before it’s relaxed.
The other worries too much about being a bit lighter.

They both smell good when you pass them out on the town.

It takes heaps of one to fuck your heart,
but only one of the other.

They’ll both piss off your grandma.

The old generation can be a bit harsh and unfiltered.
The new generation is more colourful and fluid.

They both attract fuckheads at pubs.

One is free choice.
The other is Her choice.

They’re both liable to give you a cough at some point but you’ll stay with them anyway.

One wants a walk on a long beach.
One is just a Longbeach.

They both have experienced extensive marketing campaigns to undermine their popularity.

Benson and Hedges?

Beauties and Wenches?

They all come in handy when you’re stuck in the trenches.