Today’s News

Have you heard of the comet that’s coming in 2032?

There’s a tiny chance it might hit me and you.

Let’s definitely panic! Let’s run for the hills!

Go tell the soldiers to get their last kills.

Quickly now doctors prescribe your last pills.

Make sure that you’re paid up on all of your bills.

Make sure you’ve decided who’s girls and who’s boys.

Make sure to go buy some more cheap plastic toys.

Quickly now people, go get employed.

There’s still so much to exploit! So much to destroy!

Let’s keep on dividing, before it’s too late!

Make sure that you’re taking, from an emptier plate.

Quick ask for the manager, then make a complaint.

Don’t waste the knife! It fits into your mate!

Keep reading the news! You know it’s the truth!

We all know we’re safest, under their boot.

Just don’t let the weird ones start to collude.

They’re dangerous! Unhinged! They’re always so rude.

We’ll be fine! Just hold tight… to each other’s throat. Just keep on sinking, don’t rock the boat.

That person you hated? Go leave them a note!

There’s just enough time to dig up more bones.

Go jump on the phone!

“Who should I speak to about wanting a loan?”