DIVINE CRAFT

Palo Santo on the air
Plumes of coconut honeyed pink smoke dance into a halo above. linking
Breathe it in, back from ten.
I’ll wait.
Feel the heat, subtle itch on the centre of your palm
It is calling you.
Will you answer?
Graphite Quartz Pen & Paper all wait.
       Still I wait.
Cleanse with water
Rejuvenate with air
Ground with earth
Temper with fire
Temperance because of fire.
Sense of plastic elasticity flows through
as shedding makes way for manifesting my minds Magick mid madness.
Calling to create.
Will you answer?

Coffee

Beans ground perfectly

Favourite cup is ready

Fuck, out of soy milk.

No soy, black it is

The bitter taste burns my tongue

Curses are flying.

Curses and caffeine

Anti-Murdery bean juice

Murderous thoughts brewed.

Thoughts brewed sip, sip, sip

Festering in me? No dear

Curses are flying.

Curses and caffeine

Paired together to help with

Igniting the soul.

Soul is on fire

Watch the pyre as it blows

Curses are flying.

Curses and caffeine

One of the ultimate brews

To open ones eyes.

Sun & Moon

Fucking fragile egos

I thought we were all amigos

But then you go and chop yourself off at the stalk when there’s a little wind. 

What are you gonna do when the storm starts painting chalk?

Fucking fragile egos

I’m doing good but feeling bad

Can’t talk right now I’m feeling sad.

Fucking fragile egos

Acting like you’re the world tree

You’re just a tiny seed 

Come and grow with me

Fucking fragile egos

Undermine yourself. 

Fill another shelf with another failed self. 

Fucking fragile egos 

I’m feeling all your pain 

Man I feel the same, but now I’m taking all the blame.  

Feeling dumb and small

Why not fuck em all?

Fucking fragile egos 

You cannot hide from me

You cannot hide. I see. 

Fucking fragile egos

How did you learn to speak

Was it with your family or an academy?

I get there is some cracks. 

Pressure packed in stacks. 

A weight is on your back. 

Fucking fragile egos

Everyone’s the same. 

Hiding from yourself in plain sight. 

What are you gonna do when they circle above?

I feel lonely every day. 

I feel scared every day. 

I feel sad every day. 

But I’m brave enough to say..

Ki Ni Ga

Ki Ni Ga

Ki Ni Ga

Ki Ni Ga

Mudra for you mind, soul, body, & spirit,

I hope you feel it,

When I placed it on your chest unconditional love was all I felt,

I hope you keep it.

When it finds you and holds you tight know it is my gratitude and honour shining bright with and through your love,

I hope it finds you.

When this finds you I want you to know how proud I am of you and all that you know, show, share with me,

I hope this finds you.

I have found you,

and I still cannot believe how lucky and grateful and so inlove I could be,

You add to my life in so many ways; deep conversations, being creative, enjoying passionate play,

You challenge me, push me, anger me, nurse me,

But above all else, you love me.

And I love you Mo Chroí,

I have found you.

Baininscneach Dorcha

Youthful vigour New cycle
Hecate guiding souls on the descent to the shadowy depths

Trade? Will you?
Fantasy versus Consistency                                 I will leave.

Go on little bird land inside my clawed paws
Then I will rip you and shred you and tear you in two
Feel thunder and vengeance, and oh! it will be well due
if you step in my cave and spit in my face then watch as it twists with malicious disgrace

Curses, the first of dark seeds sown
from mother to daughter
between flesh and bone
Divine Dark Feminine the balance to Light
Will always rear its head when I must fight.

The Rat Race

Placed in the maze,
One and Two
by ancient men in white coats.

Quickly Bite the hands that claim to feed you.

Free will
Free Choice
is offered up           Pernicious Trap.

Quickly before it is too late!

Funnelled by predetermined destiny
or, funnelled by walls truly designed to confine.
‘We care’ they claim ‘We just want to see which one of you, the two will make it through this maze’    Trap.

Cage door opens onto cage;
Noses twitching feel their way
a grey cold sterile place
where no creature will ever find
their peace,
their harmony,
their grace.
Men ruling the way.
Men deciding the games we play.
The stories we tell.
The way we love.
Pitting One against Two
Two against One
all in the name of a game called love…

It is not a game.
I do not want to play.

Quickly it is not too late!

Beware the docile creatures you so wrongly have pigeonholed
Even the kindest creature when backed into a corner will lash out
Save your energy to lick your salty wounds.

Calicoed Tail

Follow the white dog
follow her cotton fanned tail
as it swishes through a crumbling ruin where only stairs remain
From way down here surrounded by grey
an apocalyptic vision of the earth is what stains the mind body and Spirit.
causing nothing but heart ache and pain
Is this the right dream? Is this the wrong dream?
It’s Dreaming all the same.
If I stay down here amongst the rubble and the smoke
I think my heart will give out before my lungs are choked
bones cracking like duck shell no strength to go on,
wrists wispy and willowy wanting nothing at all.

Eyes         turn         up

Cotton fanned tail is still swishing                                    back,
forth,                                                                                                                                           back,
forth.
forthright in her movement somehow calling my name
A voice tumbles down marble and hangs on to my frame; 

‘stop letting Fear stop you from participating in your own life’

A jolt to my brain.
Sure minded not sure footed my legs begin to rise
shakey in my placement as I climb this existential maze 
Tail climbs 
I climb                   
us and the moss covered stairs no wall no rail no hand to hold just you If you fall, you fall.
Then what? 

Get.         Back.         Up.

A frame is there ochred and chipped calicoed tail disappears with one final
swiiiiiiissssssh!
Rising now rising still
sparkles of violet light come shinning from this peak
One More Step and I can reach for the frame.
Step.
Oak splinters my palm the pain makes it real dilated pupils adjust as all becomes clear.

Haze settles
earthen skyscrapers shoot out
patchwork meadows
A world beyond my imagination,                                                                                       waiting. 
Waiting for us all.

Big Blue

Hemispheres are wild like that, One in winter, cold and black,
One in summer, hot and heavy, throws this seasonal shit up in a tizzy.
Big blue sticks on the hollowed backs of expats,
permanent baggage checked in; you’ll get no help with that.
“Talk it out, share the load! I’m here to listen, not to scold.”
I need help.
“Oh wait, you’re too much! Quick, swallow this sertraline or citalopram or paroxetine.”
But my heart still feels heavy, help me, don’t condemn me.
“Just wait cailín óg, it hasn’t kicked in.”
Tell me doctor how is this better?
I’m feeling dazey, hazey, sluggish and sick, isolating myself are you listening prick?
“Silence creature! What do you know?
I’ve got honours, and masters, and doctorates to show!”
But… I know. 

I’d finally been diagnosed at twenty-five, and at first it was liberating to know I’d be ‘fine,’
but as the label sunk in, it rocked me and knocked me,
am I truly “socially anxious?” Or just struggling, bloodless in the blankness?
Doctors offices always caused me unease but a women’s health hub may be just what I need,
“Care plans are of our utmost priority!”
Lies, bullshit they tell the majority till you sign the waver and lose your mortality
doped up to your eyeballs lost in some modern barbarity where you can get help
but it requires your transparency.
Dramatic irony from the mouth of such self-claiming clarity,
extraordinary power we give to such fractional secularity.
Docile bodies that’s what they want, so they pump us with products the clever savants,
docked like animals,
shackled to our minds,
or is it to the minds of the masters that try and keep us in line? 

Valleys run along my skin, housing the remnant ghosts of comrades-in-arms,
Irish soils being the first place I’d experience structures that house years of harm.
“The fact that you’re here proves there’s no call for worry,
you’re just a really sad girl, now be off with ya, hurry!”
Confusing message for a confused mind as rifles and casings flashed behind my eyes.
Internalise, don’t speak out, they don’t want transparency just empty accounts.
“Oh come on cailín óg, don’t feel like that!
You’re interpreting it all wrong! Chill! Relax!”

I will not do what you tell me.
You lack understanding when it comes to emotion,
but your self-pious babblings clearly got you the promotion that’s why you tell young girls
there’s no need to fret, cause they’re not pushing daisies,

right?

I will never forget.